Islamic Perspective — Institution Of Marriage
A Brief Introduction to Marriage in Islamic Law
The previous story of this series, “Unlocking the Power of Partnership: Why Marriage Matters More Than Ever” discusses the importance of marriage in today’s society. The article explores various aspects of marriage, such as cultural and religious considerations, and how couples can navigate these challenges to create a successful and fulfilling partnership. Additionally, the article emphasizes the importance of parenting and family dynamics within the context of marriage. And the article advocates for the power of partnership and encourages readers to consider the benefits of marriage in their own lives.
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Marriage holds great importance in Islamic culture, serving as the foundation for building strong and lasting families. The institution of marriage is deeply rooted in Islamic law and holds a significant place in the lives of Muslims. Islamic teachings emphasize the importance of marriage as a means of fulfilling one’s religious obligations and building a loving and supportive family.
In this article, we will provide a brief introduction to marriage in Islamic law and its various aspects, including the purpose and requirements of marriage, the rights and responsibilities of spouses, and the role of family and community in supporting the institution of marriage.
Islamic Perspective on Marriage:
In Islamic tradition, marriage is considered to be a sacred and important institution that is encouraged by all Muslims. Marriage is seen as a means of fulfilling one’s religious and social obligations, as well as a way of achieving spiritual growth and personal fulfillment.
Islam places great emphasis on the importance of family and community, and marriage is seen as a means of strengthening these bonds. The Quran states that marriage is a sign of God’s power and love and that through it, men and women can find comfort and companionship with one another.
In Islamic tradition, marriage is based on mutual consent, and both the bride and groom have the right to accept or reject a proposed marriage. The marriage contract, known as the nikah, is a legal agreement that outlines the rights and responsibilities of both partners and is signed by both parties in the presence of witnesses.
Islam also places great importance on the role of the husband and wife in marriage and emphasizes the need for mutual respect, love, and compassion. The husband is seen as the head of the household, responsible for providing for his family, while the wife is seen as the caretaker of the home and the children.
Islam considers marriage to be a sacred and important institution that plays a central role in the lives of Muslims, providing spiritual, emotional, and social benefits to both partners.
The Purpose of Marriage:
The primary purpose of marriage in Islam is to cultivate love between a man and a woman. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said that there is nothing like marriage for two people who love each other.
The Quran also emphasizes the importance of marriage as a means of finding comfort and companionship. Muslim men are instructed to treat their wives with fairness and kindness, which includes providing for them, being cheerful in speech, avoiding rudeness or harshness, and avoiding showing an inclination towards other women.
In the Quran’s beautiful words;
“And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy.” [Surat Ar-Rūm 30;21]
Marriage is seen as fulfilling a deep need for comfort and companionship that men and women find in each other. The Arabic language used in the Quran emphasizes that marriage is a matter between men and women. The institution of marriage in Islam is based on the idea of partnership and mutual support, with both spouses striving to please and fulfill the needs of the other.
Quran & Hadith About Marriage:
The Quran and hadith (sayings and actions of Prophet Muhammad) contain numerous verses and teachings about marriage. Here are some examples:
1. “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them, and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (Quran 30:21)
This verse emphasizes the importance of marriage as a means of finding peace, love, and compassion with one’s spouse.
2. “And among His signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find tranquility in them, and He has created love and mercy between you. Verily, in that are signs for those who reflect.” (Quran 30: 28)
This verse highlights the role of wives in providing love and mercy to their husbands and emphasizes the importance of mutual respect and compassion in marriage.
3. “The best of you is he who is best to his family, and I am the best among you to my family.” (Hadith, Sunan Ibn Majah)
This hadith emphasizes the importance of treating one’s family, including one’s spouse, with kindness and compassion.
4. “Do not marry except a believer, for he who shares his faith with a believer deserves Paradise.” (Hadith, Sunan Ibn Majah)
This hadith highlights the importance of marrying someone who shares one’s faith and values, as this can strengthen one’s relationship with Allah and lead to greater spiritual fulfillment.
5. “And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing.” (Quran 24:32)
This verse encourages Muslims to marry those who are single and to show kindness and generosity to those who may be in need.
The Quran and hadith emphasize the importance of marriage as a means of finding peace, love, and compassion with one’s spouse, and highlight the importance of treating one’s family with kindness and compassion.
Complementarity and Qawwamun:
The concept of complementarity is an essential element of Islamic teachings on marriage and gender relations. According to the Qur’an, men, and women are equal in their humanity and spiritual worth, but they have different roles and responsibilities in the family and society. The Qur’an states that men are the caretakers (qawwamun) of women, and they are responsible for providing for their wives and families financially and protecting them.
However, this does not imply that men are superior to women, or that women are subordinate to men. Instead, it reflects the recognition that men and women have different strengths and abilities, which are necessary for the proper functioning of the family and society. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also emphasized the complementary nature of marriage, describing it as a partnership based on mutual love, respect, and cooperation.
In Islamic tradition, the concept of qawwamun has been interpreted in different ways by scholars and jurists. Some have emphasized the authority and leadership of men in the family, while others have highlighted the responsibility and duty of men to care for and protect their wives and families. Regardless of the interpretation, the concept of qawwamun underscores the importance of men fulfilling their obligations towards their wives and families, and treating them with kindness, compassion, and respect.
In addition to qawwamun, the Qur’an also highlights the role of women in the family and society. It describes righteous women as devoutly obedient, protective of what God has entrusted to them, and active participants in the affairs of the family and community. Women are also encouraged to seek knowledge, pursue their talents and interests, and contribute to the betterment of society.
The concept of complementarity in Islam emphasizes the importance of balance and harmony between men and women in the family and society. It recognizes the unique strengths and abilities of both genders and emphasizes their shared responsibility for the well-being and success of the family and community.
Tenderness and Affection in Marriage in Islam:
Tenderness and affection are two essential components of a healthy and fulfilling relationship, especially in a marriage. Tenderness refers to the gentle and loving care that we offer to our loved ones, while affection is the expression of our love and warmth towards them. These qualities are vital in building and maintaining a strong and lasting relationship, and they require consistent effort and attention.
In a marriage, tenderness, and affection can take many forms. They can be as simple as a gentle touch, a warm embrace, a loving smile, or a kind word. They can also involve more significant gestures such as a surprise date, a thoughtful gift, or a romantic getaway. Whatever form they take, tenderness and affection are crucial in keeping the flame of love and intimacy alive in a marriage.
One of the most beautiful examples of tenderness and affection in a marriage is the story of Abu Talha and Umm Sulaim mentioned above. Umm Sulaim’s care and concern for her husband’s well-being, even in the midst of her own grief, is a testament to the depth of love and tenderness she had for him. Similarly, Abu Talha’s love and affection for his wife are reflected in his willingness to accept her difficult news with patience and understanding.
Another example of tenderness and affection in marriage is the practice of the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. His gentle and caring nature towards his wives, his playfulness with them, and his willingness to listen to their needs and concerns are all expressions of his deep love and affection for them. His example shows us that tenderness and affection are not signs of weakness, but rather a source of strength and vitality in a marriage.
Tenderness and affection are essential ingredients in building and maintaining a strong and fulfilling marriage. They require consistent effort, attention, and care, but their rewards are immeasurable in terms of the love, joy, and intimacy that they bring to a relationship. Whether it’s through small gestures or grand gestures, showing tenderness and affection towards our loved ones is a powerful way to express our love and deepen our connection with them.
The Advice of Prophet Muhammad About Marriage:
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) has given many pieces of advice about marriage. Here are some of his teachings related to marriage:
1. Choosing a Spouse: The Prophet (peace be upon him) encouraged people to choose their spouse based on their faith and character, rather than wealth or social status. He said, “A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a loser.” (Sahih Al-Bukhari 5090)
2. Kindness towards Spouse: The Prophet (peace be upon him) emphasized the importance of showing kindness and love towards one’s spouse. He said, “The best of you are those who are best to their wives.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhi 3895)
3. Communication: The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught the importance of effective communication in marriage. He said, “The most perfect of believers in faith are those who are the best in manners and the most kind to their wives.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhi 1162)
4. Respect: The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught that both partners should show respect towards each other. He said, “A Muslim must not hate his wife, and if he is displeased with one bad quality in her, then let him be pleased with her good qualities.” (Sahih Muslim 1469)
5. Forgiveness: The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught the importance of forgiveness in marriage. He said, “Whoever conceals the faults of a Muslim, Allah will conceal his faults on the Day of Judgment.” (Sahih Muslim 2590)
6. Prioritizing Spouse: The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught that one’s spouse should be a top priority in their life. He said, “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Sunan At-Tirmidhi 3895)
These teachings of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) emphasize the importance of mutual love, respect, and kindness in a marital relationship. By following these teachings, couples can build a strong and fulfilling marriage based on Islamic principles.
The Importance of Form and Validity ( Nikkah) in Islamic Marriage Contracts:
In Islamic tradition, the form and validity of a marriage contract are important aspects that need to be observed for a marriage to be considered legal and recognized. The contract of marriage, known as the nikah, must be based on mutual consent and the exchange of offer and acceptance between the bride and groom, or their representatives.
The proposal (ijab) and acceptance (qubul) must be clearly stated in the presence of two male or one male and two female witnesses who are sane and adult Muslims. The presence of witnesses is necessary to ensure that the marriage contract is genuine and valid. It is also important to note that the bride and groom must be present during the contract ceremony and must be able to give their consent willingly and freely.
It is not necessary to have a written or recorded ceremony to make a marriage contract valid, although the presence of a written document or recorded ceremony can serve as evidence of the transaction. However, the lack of such documentation does not invalidate the marriage contract if all other necessary conditions are met.
In addition, a marriage contract can be made through agents acting on behalf of the bride and groom or their guardians, as long as the necessary conditions are met, and the consent of the parties involved is obtained.
The Quranic verse (2:187) emphasizes the importance of marriage as a means of protection and comfort for both spouses. It describes the relationship between a husband and wife as a mutual protective covering, where each spouse provides protection and comfort to the other, and screens them from impure things.
The form and validity of a marriage contract in Islam are crucial elements that need to be observed to ensure the legality and recognition of the marriage. The contract must be based on mutual consent and the exchange of offer and acceptance, and witnessed by sane and adult Muslim witnesses. The presence of a written or recorded ceremony is not necessary, and the contract can be made through agents acting on behalf of the parties involved. The Quranic verse emphasizes the importance of marriage as a means of protection and comfort for both spouses.
Mehr:
In Islamic tradition, the mehr or dowry is an important aspect of the marriage contract. The Holy Quran requires the husband to give a gift to the wife at the time of contracting the marriage. This gift can take the form of money or kind, and its value should be what the husband can afford. The purpose of the mehr is to provide some financial security for the wife, in case of divorce or death of the husband.
It is important to note that the giving of mehr is the responsibility of the husband or his relatives, not the wife or her family. However, in some cultures, particularly in South Asia, the practice of demanding a large dowry from the bride’s family has developed. This practice is not Islamic and is deplored by the Muslim community. It places a great financial burden on the bride’s family and can lead to tragic consequences such as suicides or killings of young brides.
Governments in countries such as India and Pakistan are taking steps to address this problem, and the Muslim community is actively working to discourage this unIslamic practice. In conclusion, the mehr or dowry is an important aspect of the marriage contract in Islam, and its purpose is to provide financial security for the wife. However, the practice of demanding a large dowry from the bride’s family is not Islamic and should be discouraged.
MARRIAGE FEAST OR VALIMAH:
In Islamic tradition, the valimah or marriage feast is a significant event that takes place after the wedding ceremony. The purpose of the valimah is to celebrate the newlyweds and their union, and to invite family and friends to partake in the joyous occasion.
The valimah is usually hosted by the groom and his family, and it is considered a sign of hospitality and generosity. The food served at the valimah is often lavish and abundant, and it is a time for guests to socialize and congratulate the newlyweds.
It is important to note that while the valimah is a celebratory event, it should not be excessive or wasteful. Islam encourages moderation in all aspects of life, including celebrations. It is also important to remember that the valimah is not a mandatory requirement in the marriage contract, but rather a cultural practice that has developed over time.
In some cultures, the pressure to host an elaborate valimah can lead to financial strain on the groom and his family, which goes against the spirit of the celebration. It is important to remember that the true significance of the valimah is to celebrate the marriage and the union of two people, and not to show off wealth or status.
The valimah or marriage feast is a significant event in Islamic tradition, but it should be celebrated with moderation and generosity. It is a time for family and friends to come together to celebrate the union of two people and not a time to show off wealth or status.
Divorce in Islam:
In Islam, divorce is considered a permissible act, but it is discouraged and seen as a last resort after all efforts of reconciliation have failed. The decision of divorce should be taken only after serious thought and consideration, and both the husband and the wife should try to make efforts to save their marriage.
Islam outlines specific procedures and conditions for divorce. Firstly, the husband should provide his wife with a written statement of divorce, known as the “talaq” in the presence of witnesses. The wife also has the right to initiate divorce through the process of “khula” in which she forfeits her right to the dowry and pays a certain amount to the husband.
The divorce process also includes the “iddah” period, which is a waiting period before the divorce is considered final. The duration of the iddah period varies depending on the circumstances of the divorce. During this period, the couple remains legally married, and they should not engage in any sexual activity.
Islam emphasizes that divorce should not be taken lightly, as it can have a significant impact on the individuals involved and their families. Muslims are encouraged to seek counseling and mediation to resolve marital issues and save their marriages. However, in cases where divorce is unavoidable, Islam provides a structured and respectful process that ensures the rights of both parties are protected.
Final Thoughts:
In Islam, marriage is seen as a means of completing half of one’s faith, as it provides an opportunity to fulfill one’s physical and emotional needs in a lawful manner and to establish a family. The concept of marriage in Islam is based on mutual love, respect, and responsibility between the husband and wife. The Quranic verse (30:21) states that Allah has created spouses for each other so that they may find comfort and tranquility in one another.
Islam encourages marriage and considers it as a way to attain piety, as it provides a means of controlling one’s desires and maintaining a pure and chaste lifestyle. The Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. has also emphasized the importance of selecting a righteous spouse, as this would lead to a successful marriage and a righteous family.
The Quran and the Sunnah provide guidelines for the conduct of the marriage, such as the consent of both parties, the payment of the mahr (dowry), and the establishment of a contract. The husband is responsible for the financial support of his wife and family, while the wife is responsible for the management of the household and the upbringing of children. Both husband and wife are expected to fulfill their duties and responsibilities towards one another and to treat each other with kindness, respect, and compassion.
Divorce is allowed in Islam, but it is seen as a last resort when all efforts at reconciliation have failed. The process of divorce is also guided by Islamic principles and requires the fulfillment of certain conditions and procedures.
Marriage in Islam is a sacred institution that is considered an act of worship to Allah. It is based on mutual love, respect, and responsibility between the husband and wife, and provides a means of fulfilling one’s physical, emotional, and spiritual needs in a lawful manner. By following the guidelines provided in the Quran and Sunnah, Muslim couples can lead a fulfilling and successful marriage life, and strengthen their family and community bonds.
